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Showing posts from November, 2023

Football, Money, And Boredom: Profusion Of Talent And Boring Play And Results

Succinct Backstory As a person who started playing cricket when I was in 4 rth grade and then represented my school, F G Boys School, Jhelum Cantonment, twice in regional tournaments, even after leaving college, I kept watching as many tournaments as I possibly could. However, by the year 2005–2006, my workload had started to increase dramatically, and I had to reign in the desire to watch live matches. Consequently, I started watching sports news on BBC to get all of the information concerning that day’s matches. During that period, I stumbled upon the existence of a spectacularly naughty BBC presenter Amanda Davies — it dawned on me probably 3 or 4 years after first discovering her that she is a spectacularly naughty one, too. I have been following her coverage of the sports since 2007–2008. Although, she covers at least a few different sports, however, she spends most of her time covering football, and just yesterady, she posted a link to her latest article written after she h

Mother Of All Tragedies: Horror Of All Horrors

Unfortunately for me, I am the protagonist. As luck would have it, I have had to face a considerable number of catastrophes in life. My spectacularly judicious and insightful father’s sensational decision-making transformed me from a school-topping student who had topped the school while participating in 5 different extracurriculars into a person who had zero interest in computer science and was always missing classes at FAST-NUCES. Getting warnings and reprimands from my otherwise stellar teachers at FAST Lahore became a usual affair in my life. From a school-topping kid, I became the last name on the list of graduates at FAST-NUCES, Lahore, all thanks to the sensationally insightful decision-making of my spectacularly talented father despite my repeated protestations that I do not want to study computer science. Had it not been for one phenomenal Rehan Ahmad — whose dedication, devotion, enthusiasm, and care would forever remain unrivaled — I would have left FAST, Lahore, with cl

Below Average People Masquerading As Mighty Intellectuals: Few Latin Phrases

As an extremely talented member of the mighty Mughlia clan — I am a former school topper who topped the school while participating in four different extra curricular activities and being extremely weak in Urdu and Islamiyat — I have had the profound, profound displeasure of meeting some spectacularly below average (not even average, if that failed to make sense) people who have been busy presenting themselves as spectacular individuals and sensational intellectuals; it has been an immense and immeasurable displeasure, to the extent of being utterly nauseating, getting to know these individuals while being a member of the family. The three that I am planning to write about abandoned mathematics and all of the science subjects as they were struggling badly to get even above average grades needed to make the merit lists of very good to good institutions here in Pakistan. People like Shams Zia Mehmood (whose dad had to get his FIRs expunged with the help of Peoples Party), Salman R

Unrivalled Strategic Prowess Of A Master Strategist: A Spectacular Cricketing Mind

According to esteemed Pakistani press and the members of the elite cricketing community, Pakistan’s most strategic cricketing brain, a verily phenomenal strategist, who managed to deliver astounding stats comprised of a marvelously impressive figure of 29% when the cricketing idiot in the nation Javed Miandad was managing statistics of 44% without the star bowler and a true patriot, namely the mighty Imran Khan, managed to play another master stroke in his lifetime as an active cricketer and captain. During the semi-final against Australia in 1987 Reliance cup, the master strategist, after having observed the match unfold over 49 long overs and using his sensationally correct mathematical brain, did some number crunching, which the strategist usually do, and decided that the best course of action would be to hand over the ball to the fast bowler who had by then received the most thrashing at the hands of Aussies, namely Saleem Jaffer. That, the esteemed nation of Pakistan and vo

“How Are You Feeling Now?
Aghast And Running For The Nearest Exit

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Although I almost never discuss personal relationship-related or singlehood matters on my Facebook feed, however, lately, Facebook has started to suggest groups devoted to finding chatting partners belonging to the opposite gender. Almost all of the suggestions by the Meta-owned platform spectacularly fail to meet my standards of a decent chatting partner. Those of you now thinking that they are busy reading a post written by a religiously inclined person, rest assured that I am an agnostic living in Pakistan who has been outspoken about the introduction of religious reforms in Pakistan, albeit to no avail. Now to the core issue that has prompted this post based on Facebook has started to suggest lately. Just a couple of days ago, I was presented with a group whose first post started with the image which is now the main image of this post that you are reading and the Facebook post posed the following question, “How are you feeling now?” The spectacularly simple answ

Medical Fraud: A New Disease Has Hit The Town — Post-Publication Severe Pain Disorder

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The scientific community, especially the medical world, keeps chanting the slogan that they only seek the truth and publish fact-checked, completely reliable content. They also rarely hesitate from claiming that they are probably the most reliable people around. My experiences as a former school topper who was excellent in mathematics and sciences have so far taught me that the aforementioned proclamations by the scientific world could not be farther from the truth. No scientific papers anywhere reveal to the masses that people’s cerebral and physical abilities can be badly impaired or manipulated without ever touching the person or even being within a touching distance of the person. I have been hearing voices in my head since at least 2005. I have had various issues over the years that have no plausible explanation other than the mere fact that outside parties, which have no physical access to my bodily existence, have been manipulating my faculties. I will, life permittin

An Impeccable Game of Strategy: Master Strategist At Work

A phenomenally talented lawyer, second class second from a third class college, named Abid Mirza from Mulhal who had a raging inferno with keeping his bed warm all day and night and who obdurately declined to ever leave the bed succeeded in giving birth to a sensational, spectacular, effulgent existence named Omar Mirza. Abid Mirza’s prodigiously talented son turned out to be so phenomenally talented a person, a true conquerer of the academic world, that he failed to get his BA certificate in terrific and stunningly demanding subjects like Urdu, Pakistan Studies, Sociology, and Islamiat all the while taking these subjects in Urdu. While Mr. Omar Mirza the Great was busy acquiring magnificent skills attempting his BA multiple times and failing each time to get an almost non-existent 33% points, the effulgent existence managed to set alight almost every household in the whole of the Chakwal with his sensational character. However, by the time he had reached the grand old age o

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